...Until We Meet Again

A friend of mine sent me this song yesterday after my mom passed away.  I don't know when I will write an actual blog..(I hope soon) but for now I just want to post the lyrics to the song.

Until We Meet Again by Showbread

My dearest friend, if I sing you this song, will you hear it from up in heaven?
I’m still down here in this ugly place, but up there’s where I’m heading
When they tell you I’m coming, please wait for me in front of the house that I’ll live in
And when Jesus walks me up to the door, I can finally see you again

It’s true that my heart was broken in two on the day I said goodbye to you
And I carry an ache in my chest until Jesus makes everything new

Those that we loved that left before us must have been thrilled beyond words
when you ran through the gates and into the kingdom and up to the feet of my Lord
Once sick and frail, once weak and pale, now made perfect and new
No more aching and crying, or breaking and dying
Finally home in the arms of who loves you

When you run and you play in the light of the Son, hold me in your heart and mind
Don’t know how and I don’t know when, but I’m leaving this cold place behind
How my heart aches to think of the day when my faith shall finally be sight
When the crowds will part and cheer as I come, as I walk through toward the light

And my father, my love, Jesus, my king, in His glory, seated on His throne
He’ll take me in His arms as the crowds cheer and sing
and say "Well done child, welcome home"
And He’ll walk me to the house that He built
with the father’s love and the carpenter’s touch
And you’ll run to me and I’ll hold you again, for my friend, I have missed you so much

Thank you all, we love you.

Short Thought for Tonight

Little is much when God is in it....think about that.  As Christians the work we do in Christ’s name(which should be everything) is never small.  It may seem “small” in the world’s eyes, maybe even our eyes, but the work we do for God is HUGE.  It may be an encouraging word or a simple hug to a hurting friend...sometimes it is just sitting in silent’s when there are no words to be said.  To God no act or prayer goes unnoticed.  You may feel you aren’t doing enough...chances are you are doing more than you think.  This doesn’t mean do as little as you can...no strive to do as much as you can and keep in mind that it’s all for God.  Be a vessel ready for use; “big” or “small”. 

Little is much when God is in it.

Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water

Two blogs in one day??...yes here is the blog.

God is amazing.  His mercies are new every morning and His love is unending.  He gently holds His children and answers our prayers in powerful ways.  Why do we begin doubting and lose faith so easily?  Why after a season of rich blessing and His visible hand working do we turn around and wonder why He is being silent or telling us to wait on Him, we turn to Him asking why He isn’t answering and fall back into doubts and fears.  We treat Him like His quiet voice and His work in stillness is not enough.  God doesn’t always work in fireworks or huge displays of glory....look at the birth of His Son.  Christ was not born in pomp and glory....one of the greatest events in all of history happened in a quiet stable.  Yes the angels burst out of Heaven to tell the shepherds..but in all that time there was silent’s in the world.  We get downhearted when God doesn’t reveal His answers in our idea of “AWESOME”.  Many times we set ourselves up for disappointment because we set our focus on our tiny “order of events” that we lose sight of  Christ and His better order of things...yes the outcome may be the same one but His way of getting there is so much better and will make the outcome even more breathtaking.  But before we get to the “end” we MUST learn to trust and have faith.

Hmmmm faith...trust....those can be very scary words even scarier to live out.  How many times do we ask God to call us out of our comfort zones and to Himself.....how many times do we really mean it?  Probably in the beginning we are all fired up and in the mindset of , “I can do it...I can walk on the water”, but really regret it once we get out of the boat.  Just think of Peter on that stormy night.  Yes it was stormy, but he was in his boat and that was a place of “comfort” he knew what to expect...being in a boat on a stormy lake...that’s normal for a fisherman, nothing to worry about.(ok well in some cases it is something to worry about, but not in this case)  He and the other men see Jesus walking toward them....ok that would be creepy.  You are in the middle of a lake, at night and its stormy.  And something is walking on the water toward you.....yeah I’d be screaming “GHOST” too. Anyways...after Jesus tells them who He is and tells them not to fear Peter(probably all excited with a hint of nervousness) says, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water”.  You all know the rest of the story..if not go read Matthew 14:22-33 then come back and finish this.   Now take that story and put yourself into it.  You see Jesus out on the water coming towards you, telling you not to fear..and you are like “I can so do this”!  You know that is Christ is there you can go to Him, no storm will overtake you.  So you ask Him to call you out to himself if it really is Him and He does.  You leap out, your eyes fully on Him..heart full of trust that you are going to make it.  You take a few steps and in your peripheral vision you see movement, it may just be your mind playing tricks on you so you keep walking.  But ever so slowly your eyes begin to wander, and then your head turns....your mind starts playing through your worst fears.  You still see Christ in front of you but He seems really far away and doesn’t seem to show any sign of running to where you are.  Soon you stop moving and look around you over thinking all your fears in your mind...and they start to play out in real life.  You begin to sink.  Now I’m sure you all know what that feeling is like....from an outsiders point of view it all happens really fast but for the person sinking time slows down and you have what seems like forever to think and be afraid.  I’m sure when Peter started to sink it felt like Jesus wouldn’t get there in time....but do you see what the verse says...”Jesus immediately reached out His hand”.  Jesus didn’t wait for Peter to go under....Jesus was there right away. 

So many times we pray and ask to be called out to follow God...our walk starts out good and full of trust.  But as time goes on we begin to walk in our own power and look around us; we are meant to keep our eyes on Christ at ALL times...never taking them off, even of the world around us is being destroyed....our walk and our lives are only possible through Christ.  We do not have the power.  We must give up ourselves and let Him take over.  Yes it is a scary thing....we may have to sacrifice the things we love most.  But His way is much better.  I know its hard to believe and even I find letting go of my own idea of how things should go to be one of the hardest things...and trust me some days I cant.  But with Christ there is no true loss of good.  Maybe the only thing standing between you and your answered prayer is your death grasp on how you want it to be.  The end may be the same...but letting a rose open by itself(which is very boring to watch and you want to give up) gives you a beautiful open flower....rather than the ripped pieces of a rose you wanted open right away...they are both open but one is by far better.  

Trust that God WILL give you good.  Just wait and live.  Dont force life...dont pray for answers you don’t need yet.  Of course you won’t get them...you are meant to trust and life.  Live without fear and always remember the good and hold onto it for dear life.  Dont over think yourself into doubt and fear by focusing on all the wrong you don’t want to do.  Just think of how different our lives would be if we focused on doing good and focus on the good being done.

Well thats all for now...that was long.

Gods blessings to all!

Christmas

Before I start with my “blog” I want to share what a miracle Christmas was this year. 

Thank you all for your prayers, they were answered. Our trip down to Windsor started off with not much of a change from my last blog.  Mom was doing a little bit better but still very tired and her mind got pretty foggy by the end of the day.  We stopped in at my uncles in Kitchener, to break the trip in half and so mom could get rested.  The next day we made it to Windsor and she started doing way better.  Her mind cleared, she began eating more, she didn’t sleep as much(like during the day but she slept well at night).  A few times during the holidays she over did it, but she bounced back pretty fast.  She had nurses come in everyday to help with stuff and got hydration done at Mamma and Pappa’s.  We as a nation are blessed with our health care.  I know a lot of people are ungrateful and bash it and our government but really once you go through something like this you know how blessed we are.....and if you do go through something like this and still complain...well you’re only making it worse for yourself.  So on that front things have been good since Christmas.  Yes mom is getting physically weaker but spiritually she is getting stronger and her mind is still clear!  Just as a little side note: we got new curtains!  She and dad went shopping last week and picked out really awesome ones!

Ignorance can be such bliss...but Your arms hold me together

I don’t even know how to go about writing this blog.  But I shall try to put words to my thoughts. 

This past half a week has not been very pleasant, to put it very plainly...it has been the most painful I have ever had to live through.  Thursday my family went up to Sudbury for another meeting with moms cancer doctors(it was also Jessies birthday).  The day was ok to begin with, mom was feeling better than the past few days and she was ok on the trip.  After a few hours at Chapters and getting Starbucks(amazing!) we went to the mall, got some bubble tea and went to pick up dad and mom. 

Ignorance can be such bliss even when you know something painful is coming. 

The doctors have said there is nothing else they can do and are stopping chemo.  Mom has not been herself lately and gets confused easily.  We don’t know how much longer we have her with us..but we know it is not for much longer.  It is hard to watch this woman, who has cared for me my whole life..is now slowly slipping away into LIFE.  I know God can take it all away in an instant but if, in His plan, chooses not to I will love Him and know all of this is for His glory and our good.  Mom will be in a much better place away from all of this.  She is the lucky one.  Death is just another victory for the Christian...whether in life or death we have won.  And mom has most defiantly won!  The devil has not got this one...God has it all!

I cant think of anything else to write but I will leave you all with a lyrics to a song and a prayer request.

First the prayer request.  We are planning to go to Windsor to spend Christmas with family.  Mom asks for prayer so that she will have mental clarity and be able to fully enjoy Christmas.  Also for safe travels and that things with go very smooth.

EVERYTHING FALLS
Fee

You said
you'd never leave or forsake me
when you said,
this life is gonna shake me
and you said
this world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
this I know

Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you're the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on

when I see
darkness all around me
when I see
that tragedy has found me
I still believe
your faithful arms will never let me go
and still I know

Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you're the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on


Bridge:
Sorrow will last for the night
but hope is rising with the sun
(it’s rising with the sun)
and there will be storms in this life
but I know you have overcome
You have overcome

Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you're the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on

Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you're the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on

Thank you all for your prayers and love.  We feel Gods arms of love around us through all of this pain.

Rebekah

Look..its Monday

It’s Monday again.  Ya!!!.....NOT.  No offence meant to those of you who like Mondays; it’s just not one of my favourite days.

 Anyways this past weekend was a really good weekend.  It was filled with friends, family and just a whole bunch of awesomeness.  God has blessed my family with an extended period of stillness!  The only hospital visits we have had to make were for moms chemo treatment.  Hospitals are scary places, long halls full of doors...empty or full beds...plain walls staring down on ailing patients. 

Ok enough of that.  Both sets of grandparents have been here for this past week.  Talk about lots of food and lots of Hungarian.  It’s been nice to have a break from the cooking and it’s also be really nice to have some European baking in the house!  No matter what time of day or night it is both grandmas are in the Kitchen cooking or baking something.  Right now I’m listening to dad talk to his parents about family and food. (hahaha, not surprising) 

I think this is all I’m going to blog tonight.  My thoughts are all over the place and I don’t want to try and make sense of them.  Lets just say God is AWESOME and so much bigger than any problems, guilt, worry and fear we have. 

Thank you for your prayers..they are being answered:-)

God bless!

Here's to new beginnings

So...I finally decided to start a blog, thank you mom for getting the ball rolling :-).  No idea who will, or will even want to read it...but here it is. 

God is doing so much in my family’s life right now.  The past three years has been quite the journey.  He has brought us through fire and flood; we have come out of each with a renewed sense of grace and a new understanding of the God we serve.  His glory is so great and His love so unlimited, how can people not stand in awe.  I still don’t understand it. 

I am sitting here listening to the wind outside, thinking about how blessed we are.  God has given us another few days of rest and relief...I am so thankful for this.  There is nothing like watching those you love suffer and there being nothing you can do to ease it.  Many times the ONLY thing we can do is pray, words and actions feel empty on those days and giving in to grief or giving up would be so easy.  But where would giving up lead?  What good would mourning do when there is still a fight left?  God is in such complete control and He keeps on revealing it.  He never lets us settle into a comfort zone.  He brings days of peace and stillness then He brings the days of storm.   He is the same in days of stillness and in days of unrelenting storms; He is God of both and is unchanging. 

Our lives change every day;  your whole outlook on life changes when you are brought close to death.  Life is uncertain.  We make our plans and they can change in an instant.  Like it says in James 4:13-15, “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.  Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."

Let us give our lives and worries over to our unchanging God.  He holds our futures in His hand, “...and life is worth the living, just because He lives”.

Remain blessed and in His care,

Rebekah